Create Yourself (or: late-night ramblings about individuality)

"Think outside the box" is a cliche, at this point. Interesting, isn't it? That when we want to tell somebody to be creative, we all go to the same phrase, repeated endlessly in english classes and board meetings. It's almost parodic by nature, a way of saying, "Be creative, so I don't have to," or, "Be creative, because I can't." But then, even worse, there are the people who go overboard with it. I remember being one in 9th grade. I would say I was ~*~random~*~, and then I'd ask you what I was thinking about. The answer was always "tacos," which, given that it was always the answer, was decidedly not random... but at least I was thinking outside the bun.

I seriously considered ending this post right there. It's simple, and I think it captures what I want to say pretty well. But nahh, we all know I like talking. Here we go:

It's not a new concept. Everybody wants to be unique and everybody thinks they're special. I'm not talking about the whole "ohh, whiny little special snowflake," type special, but just, you know, everybody wants to be able to say, "I'm not like most [x]." ...which makes them exactly like most [x], whatever [x] may be. Most guys, most singers, most New Yorkers, most communications majors... you get the drift. But in order to differentiate themselves, a lot of people seem to... fake creativity.

They fake it like I did in 9th grade. I knew I was a weird kid (I'd have to have been an idiot not to), so I decided to "embrace it." I was going to be "unique." But instead of creating my own personality, I sort of latched on to this whole "xD" subculture, where "RAWR" meant "I love you" in dinosaur, purple was the best color ever, and of course, I was always thinking about tacos. Sound familiar? Of course it does. I was a regurgitation of everything MLIA.com had to offer. I wasn't unique, I was just different from the preps. Sure, I wasn't like "most guys," but I was exactly like most emo kids. Traded one cliche for another.

That's what I see happening with a lot of people. They're sick of being "normal," but instead of being themselves they just adopt a different pre-packaged personality, complete with social-media tendencies and standard lines that you could practically read off of a script. Instead of thinking outside the box, they've just moved their thinking to another box. Maybe they're not like most [x], but now they're like most [y]. And soon enough, it'll be the same thing all over again, because all of a sudden most [x] are deciding to be like [y], and nobody wants to be like most [x], so the trend-setters move on to be [z].

Sorry, by the way, for the conversational algebra. I know a lot of people hate that.

Probably freshman year of college, I was trying to figure out what drew me to my best friends. Why I liked them so much, you know? And the answer I landed on was that they were all their own people. They were characters, if you will. Personalities all their own, that couldn't fit into any of those pre-packaged aesthetics. A Kanye line -- "there's a thousand yous, there's only one of me" -- seemed a perfect fit (from their perspective). I think that was when I realized what it really meant to be unique.

It's not adopting some subculture.

It's not quoting other people's jokes and pretending you're funny.

It's not romanticizing your "struggle."

It's not trying to impress the people around you.

It's not something you're going to find by thinking outside of the box.

It's simple. So simple that it's almost laughable that it evades so many people.

Stop trying to impress people with your life. When you do that, live to impress, you're living on other people's terms, not yours. Do what you like and pursue what you want. Create yourself out of your own desires and interests. Forge your own personality.

I guess most people would have left it at, "be yourself," but hey, I'm not like most people.

Negligence on the Internet

I used to make up words. I don't remember if they meant anything, just that I would use them from time to time. They sounded cooler than anything anybody else had to say. Googlewhatsersmitch, eh? That was my favorite. I'd say it, and then I'd repeat it under my breath to make sure I'd said it correctly, and then I'd repeat it again because I was just so proud of what I'd created. Point is, I was a weird kid. I liked school, I hated sports, and when people started calling me "faggot," my first thought was, "Hey, they're making up words too! Maybe, they'd like to hear mine."

A phrase I heard a lot, following that, was "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me," which is basically just a fancy way of saying, "Stop complaining that you don't have any friends." I've always hated that phrase. It rests on the basis that words are just words. That they carry no weight, and that they do not affect the actions of others. There is absolutely nothing true about any of those statements. I'll never forget the irony of a sixth grade teacher repeating that phrase, "words can never hurt me," while standing right in front of a poster (that she had sticky-tacked to the wall) which read, "Words are weapons too."

Words are weapons in the way that a knife is a weapon. When used correctly, a knife is necessary, even vital to cooking and eating. It's a useful object, a good thing to have, something we use every day without even the slightest thought that we could slice somebody's stomach open just as easily as the potato we're chopping up. Some people are thoughtless with knives, and you'll find them in the emergency room. Some people are negligent of knives; you'll find their kids in the emergency room.

People are more careless with words. Thankfully, one cannot suffer profuse bleeding from a tasteless remark or a sassy comeback, but suffering is far from absent from the scenario. When everybody in the sixth grade is calling you a faggot, you're keenly aware that they're saying more than a word. They're saying, "Get away from me. I don't like you. You're disgusting. You're not welcome." When everybody in the sixth grade is talking about you behind your back, you're keenly aware that they're not just saying words. They're actively trying to hurt you. When everybody in the sixth grade is asking, "Why haven't you just killed yourself already?" you're keenly aware that you've actively considered taking them up on those words.

I use the sixth grade as an example because it was clear to me, even at age 11, that words held outstanding, overwhelming power. Perhaps, however, it would be more prudent to use a different example:

"Give me liberty, or give me death!" - Patrick Henry

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echos are truly endless." - St, Teresa of Calcutta

"Keep Calm and Carry On," - The British World War II campaign to prevent widespread panic after the bombing of London

"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known." - Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities, in quite frankly the single most powerful ending to any work of fiction I have ever read.

These are not just words.

These are carefully selected, well thought out and articulated words. These are words that have withstood the test of time, not because people liked the letters on paper or the way they sounded. We know these quotes because of the powerful message beneath them, and the effect they have had on people, on nations, and on the world.

Yet, "words can never hurt me."

Carelessness with words has always been a problem. Today, that carelessness is running rampant through the internet, the media, and, as we've seen over the past year, the prevailing ranks of power in our society. As we move forward, it is not enough to simply condemn the words of others. We must also be careful of our own.

Though you may not have a national bully pulpit, the words you write on the internet are being read by a vast number of people. The words you speak into your webcam and post to YouTube can be heard by anybody. The furiously typed, pejorative rants you post without a second thought (or even a second read-through) are going to affect people. These could be damaging effects. Words can inspire panic, hysteria, pain, or misinformation. From the yellow journalism of the early 1900's that started the Spanish American War, to the e-mails exchanged between high ranking democratic officials that may have cost them election, words have incredible power.

Choose them carefully.