Clickbait. Lies. Inaccurate (but funny) meme. Clickbait. Clickbait. "Now This" video. Lies.
The big question: Which of these celebrities should we give the nukes to? The choice is yours. Pick your poison. Text A for Trump, B for Clinton, throw away your phone for Gary Johnson. It's American Idol, but Simon Cowell is Stephen Colbert, Randy Jackson is Al Sharpton, and Paula Abdul is Megyn Kelly. Y'all better be rehearsing, because one tiny mistake and the judges will rip you to shreds. But hey-- that's showbiz.
"You won't believe what Trump did today," said the websites giving him free advertising on the daily.
"I'm lying," Clinton lied.
"Free Candy!" said the sweet looking old man to the unsuspecting youth.
"I am the Zodiac Killer," said the actual Zodiac killer one time when he called into a TV show. It didn't sound like Ted Cruz. No southern Accent. I guess he could have been faking.
Let's all be educated and mature and intellectual and attempt to discredit a presidential candidate by spreading rumors that he killed a bunch of people in San Fransisco 40 years ago.
Open-minded -- Adj. -- A state of agreement with all of my viewpoints whenever I bring them up. ex/ Oh, you think that too? I'm so glad to have such an open-minded friend.
The presidential race: Currently black, but definitely white by this time next year.
The presidential race: If it were a bike race, you can be damn sure that either Johnson or Stein would be calling the shots by now.
The presidential race: I bet Barack Obama could outrun Nicolas Maduro.
This election is toxic waste, pouring out over the internet, infiltrating the pores of our Facebook profiles and leaving behind big ugly zits of what some call "education," but what I call "propaganda." There are two types of people: those who can tell the difference between information and propaganda, and those who believe they are educated.
Conservatives are assholes who are pretty okay with being assholes. Liberals are assholes who think they're the best damn thing to grace planet Earth. Who's worse? [no matter how much any of you may wish to argue one side or the other, there is no objective answer to this question. My apologies.]
"I don't support Bernie because I take issue with socialism."
"But Bernie isn't socialist! He's a DEMOCRATIC socialist!"
"What's the difference?"
"A Democratic socialist is when you vote for socialism."
What I've wanted to say in response every single time: How in the f^(% did you think that would convince me??
What I've actually said every time: "Ahhh, I see"
If you're the type of person who is going to throw people out of your life because you disagree with their politics, you need to seriously reevaluate your priorities. Seriously, sit down, turn off all of your electronics, and think, "Why am I like this?" for a while. Try to find a reason. Or, you know, keep being a total asshole.
The internet may be one of the best things that's ever happened to the world, but it is the absolute worst thing that happened to elections. Make the internet great again; stop posting about politics.
